Even if I had 25 cents, I still wouldn't buy it

NOTE: My buddy is jewish.

Buddy: You have today's NY Post?
Me: Yes, but for the record, I only bought it because my Tar Heels are on the back cover.
Buddy: Yeah. Who reads the Post anyway?
Me: No one I know. I also have the Voice if you want it.
Buddy: No, I want to read the Post story about Jew-haters...as if that's news.
Me: There is a better chance of the Gay Herald - the Voice - winning a Pulitzer than the Post.
Buddy: The Post should come with crayons and a coloring book at the end.