I Always Feel Like, Somebody's Watching Me...

Every morning, The Girlfriend leaves for work before I even get out of bed. This works out well because when she forgets something, she can call me from the train and ask if it's still at home. But today was different.

When I finally turned on my cell phone this morning, I had a voicemail from The Girlfriend, who was on her way to court to defend some corporation or slumlord. It went like this:

"Hi...um, in case you are looking for the home phone, I kinda have it with me today."

Once I got over the irony of her heading to court (where I hope the courthouse metal detectors discovered her larceny), I realized that I need to hire a security guard for my own home.