iPod Etiquette

If I had one, I could live by these rules:

When to remove both earbuds:
During a job interview
Taking your driver’s test
When your sweetie calls

Remove one earbud:
Listening for your flight
Buying groceries
When a coworker calls

Leave ’em in:
Visiting the in-laws
At the laundromat
When your boss calls

(This was on Apple's new iPod page, but the link no longer works.)

Maybe the funniest political cartoon/movie/parody ever...

http://atomfilms.shockwave.com/af/content/this_land_af

Damn, I'm Too Late...
It would have been great to fuck with these kids!

According to Daily Variety (by way of realitytvworld.com), UPN has finished filming its controversial reality-documentary show Amish in the City and will debut the show with back-to-back episodes from 8-10 PM on Wednesday, July 28. After the premiere, Amish in the City will air Wednesdays at 8 PM.

UPN quietly cast five Amish young adults (three men, two women) on rumspringa (which loosely translates to "running wild") and their six "English" roommates from diverse backgrounds (three men, three women), then put them in a Hollywood Hills home for two months.

During rumspringa, Amish teenagers go into the "English" world to experience it and to test the strength of their religious beliefs. If they return, they are formally baptized into the Amish church, following the Anabaptist tradition of adult baptism from which the Amish evolved. However, if they choose not to return ... well, that's where "shunning" (called "Meidung," or social avoidance, by Amish founder Jakob Amman) comes in, because the young person is then ostracized by his or her family and home community ... which may be a large part of the reason that 90% of Amish youths choose to return home after rumspringa.

It Could Be Worse...

...I could have the flu while studying for bar, just like the dude sitting across from me right now. Poor bastard.

White Tail Park...heh-heh

A nudist camp for children -- yes, you read that correctly -- that is scheduled to start next week got some bad news from a federal judge in Richmond, VA on Thursday.

True, the judge, Richard L. Williams, allowed the full array of naked camp activities at White Tail Park to proceed, including, according to court papers, swimming, volleyball, tennis, table tennis, body painting, pudding fights, "shaving cream follies" and, alarmingly, darts.

But Judge Williams upheld a new Virginia law requiring that campers be accompanied by a parent or grandparent. An eyeful of naked Mom or Dad, he suggested, is a fair price for admission to nudist camp.

Williams also said "A nudist camp is a bit racier than, say, a Boy Scout camp," he continued. Really?! You think?! That's an amazing legal conclusion.

Paralawyer is all for nudity, but c'mon. What possible purpose could a camp of this type serve?

Especially since the camp says it does not tolerate lewd behavior. In fact, "Intimate contact, suggestive behavior, overt sexuality or sexually provocative behavior" are prohibited according to the rules.

OK, now I'm really confused. Are they saying that a 13-year old boy who's "coming into his own" -- no pun intended -- can't shove his tongue down some 13-year old girl's throat? Isn't that what summer camp is all about?!

Anyway, you can read the full NY Times article here.

Related side note: Paralawyer is pretty much left-of-middle on the political spectrum. But I often wonder what they put in the water at the ACLU. Who's job is it over there to decide what cases they get involved in? More importanly, who said "yeah, let's take this case. Nothing could be more damaging to our civil liberties than not letting naked little kids frolic about with Reddi-Wip...or just a whip.

Clueless

Paralawyer isn't in the business of dissing on teachers -- especially considering the pittance they receive for a salary -- but sometimes it needs to be done.

PARALAWYER: are you studying for LSAT?
PROSPECTIVE TEACHER: no, the LAST...the teacher's exam. you?
PARALAWYER: the bar exam
PROSPECTIVE TEACHER: wow, that's a big book you have to study from. mine is 1/2 that size.
PARALAWYER: um, this is just one of eight books.
PROSPECTIVE TEACHER: oh.

Like I said, teaching is a noble profession. In fact, Paralawyer Senior has been a public school teacher for 25+ years. But when you meet someone like Prospective Teacher, you can't help but laugh and say "you have it easy, sweetheart."

It makes me appreciate the difficulty of this exam. That is, until about 10am on Day 1 when I'm on question #3 and I should be on #23.

Checkin' my Geeeeeee-Maillllllll...

Well kids, Paralawyer has somehow been chosen to use Google's new free (albeit beta version) GMail. As if we really need another email account; Paralawyer currently uses 5 accounts on a daily basis -- 1 for personal shtuff, 1 for stuff that I will most likely consider to be Spam, 1 for my pimping service (sorry, not accepting new clients), 1 for music stuff (so unsigned bands can send me their press kits and actually think i'm going to listen to it...HA HA), and 1 for my girlfriends to write to.

Anyhee, the address is PARALAWYER@GMAIL.COM. Someone puh-leeze holla at Paralawyer so he can test out his new Procrastination Tool!

Bar Exam Approaching

At the New York Public Libraries, there are people checking your bags when you enter. So yesterday I throw my 100 lb. sack on the table and the guy proceeds to start looking through it. Now this guy is a very nerdy, loser-type security guard. Anyway, as he's looking through the bag, he just says "yup...you got a rough 19 days ahead of you, boy."

WTF?! How did he know that?! Then I started thinking, "damn, he's right about the exam being 19 days away." But do I really need rent-a-cop playing timekeeper?

F him.